Bones hurt in the locker room

[Furious Steele]

(Scene opens in the locker room after the show has gone off the air. Tommy Bones is sitting on a chair with a huge bag of ice on his head. The bag of ice is so large that you can not see most of his face. Bones has the TV laying across his lap and is wearing black slacks and a white tank top. Hans Lieberman approaches Bones with his mic in hand. )

Hans: Tommy Bones, can I get comments from you about what happened tonight?

(Bones groans like he is about to die or give birth before answering. )

Bones: What happened? Who did this to me?

Hans: It was DJ Flex.

Bones: who?

Hans: DJ Flex.

Bones: Why would DJ Quick hit me like that? I bought all his CDs even the bad ones!!!!

Hans: NO, DJ Flex. Not the early 90's rapper.

Bones: DJ did this? I always hated that kid when he was on Roseanne. I wonder how he found out. I am going to have to talk to John Goodman about this and have him discipline his child.

Hans: Have you suffered a brain injury? DJ Flex did it.

Bones: DJ from Full House?!??! I knew she was not as nice as she acted.. SHE will suffer for this.

(Hans removes the ice packet from Bone's head so he can actually hear. )

Hans: NO, DJ Flex did this.

Bones: I don't know who that is. Does he wrestle here?

Hans: Yes, you had words with him a while back. I think he is trying to make a name for himself. I think he is the same one that stole your TV title a while back.

Bones: I thought that was just a bad dream. So the lost member of Criss-Cross wants to make a name for himself. Well I got bigger fish to fry right now. I don't have him for him right now. One second.

(Bones pulls out his checkbook and writes out a check and hands it to Hans.)

Bones: Give this check to DJ Ice Cube cold funk Lil nobody for him. It is a rain check for one free beat down that I will hand out after this PPV is over with. Right now I got too many things on my plate. I got a Celebration party to plan for when I win the Cyber Championship. I am still working on designing the belt to fit somebody of my amazing ability. Underground Promotion is on top of the world right now. It takes a lot of work to run it so well!!! And I am the VGM of this federation and have you seen the ratings?!?!?! They have gone through the roof since I took over. What does DJ Homebase have to do? Sit in his mom's basement and play on his Xbox. Not xbox 360. His Xbox because that is all he can afford. He smokes some weed and listens to his worn out Marvin Gaye tapes. The week after the PPV I got a huge present for him. He wanted my attention. Well he is going to have it.

Hans: What about the upcoming four way match for the Cyber title? You seem confident about winning it.

Bones: Well that is because I am going to win it. We got Josh and Drake. The kid has some talent but lets face it. He is the K-mart version of me. Just a little cheap and not quite as good. In the other corner we will have Troy Boy sitting in the fettle position sucking on this thumb crying about how life is not fair and Dr. Smith will be outside the ring trying to have the GREAT debate. Come on its a no brainer. I will make those guys look better then they are and I will of course have the match of the PPV like always but in the end. I will retire as the last TV champion in this federation and become the first and only Cyber Champion. The only regret I have is that I am not going to get a chance to have the longest reign as TV champion in federation history, but I guess in reality I will since I will be the last TV champion EVER!!!!!

(The scene cuts with Bones putting the huge ice pack back on his head as he starts moaning again. Hans just stares at Bones with disbelief. )