Bones running down Wicked

[Furious Steele]

(Scene opens in a locker room backstage of an indy federation. Tommy Bones is standing with an indy wrestler. Bones is wearing a ridiculous looking black wig, cheesy mustache and a tacky suit. The indy wrestler is middle aged and is chowing down on some nachos. )

Bones: (cheesy Mexican voice) This is Pepe ElBoneO with a special report. I am here with indy wrestler "Nancho Man" Andy Savage. Mr. Nancho, you have spent the last 15 years in this business trying to fight your way into the big leagues. How does it make you feel when you see somebody like Wicked Clown attempt to walk away from the sport like it is no big deal and then walk away from his match?

(Nacho Savage finishes his bite and licks the cheese off his fingers before answering he a horrible impersonation of Randy Savage.)

Savage: It is disrespectful to all those who have worked so hard to try to make it in the this business. OOOOOOYEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!! Think of all those fans who paid their hard earned money to come see a great event and he just walks off. What a shame..... OOOOOOOYEEEEEEAAAHHH.

ElBoneO: What kind of message is he sending to the children?

Savage: He is telling them to quit when it gets hard. He is suppose to be a hero to look up too, now he is telling those who have it hard to "quit". Think of the message he is sending to all those working poor out there. IF you don't like your job, quit and take yoru ball and go home. ooooooyeAAAAAHHHHH!!!

ElboneO: Thanks Nacho man. Now lets get some words from hall of fame wrestler and legend in the sport Bruno SanMarco.

(Bones shifts the camera to the right where an old timer is standing smoking a cigar. The man is no other then Bruno SanMarco who is a legend in the sport and is now in his late 70s.)

ElBoneO: Mr. SanMarco, last week you saw what happened with Wicked Clown and how he cowardly left in the middle of his match. What are your thoughts about how he is treating the business that you worked so hard to build up?

SanMarco: If I was 20 years younger, I would go find that punk and teach him some respect. I spent 30 years of my life performing to build up this sport. I wrestled injured, I wrestled hurt, and I wrestled when I was sick. Every night I gave it a 100% and did my best to put on a show so every fan who left the arena felt like they got their money worth.

ElBoneO: I think you could still take him. You got heart, Wicked is soft.

SanMarco: You look ridiculous. Shut your mouth before I slap some sense into you.

(SanMarco gets closer to the camera and stares into with an intense look. )

SanMarco: Stop being selfish Wicked. You made a wager and you lost. Quit making the fans pay for your loss. You have a chance to be a hall of fame wrestler, don't blow it with this petty crap!! If you don't start acting like a man, I am going to come find you and slap you around like the little kid you are acting like.

(Scene cuts with SanMarco walking off and ElBoneO having a devilish grin on his face. )

[Wicked Clown]

//Fans cheer when they hear Wicked's music play. Wicked with no funny look in face slowly makes his way to the ring. Wicked Clown surrounds the ring looking at the three men inside and then he steps inside.

//Wicked with serious look stands in front of the heels while fans chant his name. He takes his time to respond to fake reporter.

Wicked: First of all, let’s remember that there’s only one clown in this company. Watching our vgm trying to pull that gig is like watching Elton john trying to act less gay.

//Wicked approaches fake MachoMan and pokes him in the chest then approaches fake Sammartino and pokes him in the chest a little harder.

Wicked: If I hear Nacho libre saying another oohh yeeeeaaah, Im going to take this old fart’s cigar, wrap it with this other old fart non-wrestler poor excuse of a valet George michael wannabe’s black wig and Im gonna shove it up Nacho libre’s ass so hard that he’s gonna cry teardrops of nicotine.

//Fans laugh out loud but Wicked stays serious and now he faces the vgm.

Wicked: Wicked walked out of your match because it was crap just like you. Wicked is a former world champ and he’s not gonna to be tamed by anyone no more. Don tried it and he failed and your boss tried it too and failed as well. Wicked’s actions respond to Wicked’s decisions.

[Furious Steele]

("We are the Champions" by Queens blasts over the PA system as Tommy Bones comes strutting out from back stage with his TV title over his shoulder. )

Bones: How DARE you insult our new latino field reporter Pepe ElBoneO!!!! He is bringing CULTURE to this redneck trailer park here.

(The crowd errupts in boos at Bones.)

Bones: Here is the problem Mr. Clown. You have done a great job as marketing yourself as some mentally instable unpredictable lunatic and the crowd eats it up. Your not mentally ill and your not unpredictable. Your just a good businessman with a cute gimmick. It was no suprise that you would quit once you lost the match and were forced to join the Trinity. That is what about 99% of this crowd does on a daily basis. They quit their diets, they quit workout program, they quit their minimum wage job. Wicked, your just another common Joe who quits when things get hard, the only difference is that you wear a lot of makeup.


(The crowd chants "wicked wicked" which seems to irritate Bones, but he holds it together and pulls out a cue card.)

Bones: So we are going to redo your image with the company to make it something more appropriate to your true nature. I will be opening a poll on the website so fans can vote on which option they like the best. Number one is!!!

("Loser" by Beck plays over the PA as an image of Ronald McDonald with a Wicked Head photo shopped onto it.)

Bones: Wicked Burger. Your a gimmick is that you sell cheap fast food for an easy book. Your fans love it because they are too stupid to realize that they are just getting duped. NUMBER TWO!!!

("The End" by the Doors plays over the PA and a shot from the movie "Shakes the Clown" with Wicked's head photo shopped over the main character's body. If you havent seen the movie you should. It is about an alcholic clown. Funny Shit)

Bones: Wickedly Drunk. Your gimmick is that your life is falling apart and your career is coming to an end. It is you accepted your fate that you are a failure, and you have a huge hatred for mimes. Number THREE!!!

(Gangsta-style plays over the PA with Wicked Clowns head on the asian guy in the video. Tommy Bones busts out in his annoying laughter.)

Bones: Wicked Dancer, you put on a show by making a fool of yourself. We know you can do that well. VOTE NOW PEOPLE and VOTE often!!!