Dr. Bones is in the office

[Furious Steele]

(Scene opens in a very stereo typical looking therapist office with “All Natural” Tommy Bones dressed up in a tweed suit with scholarly looking glasses on while he sits behind the desk. Bones has a ridiculous looking big brown beard that is clearly fake and hooked behind his ears. The office is furnished with the leather couch, a leather chair, oak desk and the walls are covered with shelves filled with scholarly looking books. )

(Voice over the intercom): Mrs. Imma is here for her appointment, Dr. Bones.

Bones: (in a horrible German Freudian accent): Send her right in.

(The door opens and once again it is SSC dressed up as Immocolata. He dramatically makes his way to the leather couch and flops down on it. Bones comes around the desk and sits in the leather chair and takes out a pen and paper to take notes for the session.)

Bones: Thank you for coming in Imma. You have seen upset the last few sessions, what is bothering you?

(Imma sits silently.)

Bones: It is just like your daddy issues. If we do not get them out on the floor to discus then we cannot work through them.

(SSC flops back and forth dramatically before talking in a horrible impersonation of Imma.)

SSC/IMMA: There is this guy at work. He is strong, brilliant, handsome, charismatic, sensual and confident. I cannot stop thinking about him. I don’t know what to do. I want the other wrestlers to see me as a wrestler, not a woman, but I can’t stop my feelings for him. He has a brilliant mind.

Bones: Ah, this is the Tommy Bones gentleman that you had in your dreams.

(SSC whips his hair back dramatically and sighs.)

SSC/IMMA: Yes, I can’t talk my eyes or mind off him. I can’t sleep at night. I spent most of the night looking up utube videos of him in action.

Bones: I see.

(Bones sits back and rubs his beard deep in thought for several seconds.)

Bones: Would you like my professional opinion?

(SSC sits up and faces Bones with a desperate look in his eyes.)

SSC/IMMA: please tell me, you always know what is going on with me.

Bones: Very well Imma. In my professional opinion this is related to your daddy issues. Your father wanted a boy so he has tried to maculate you into a male for most of your life. He even has taken it so far that he has you fighting in a man’s world of wrestling. In this Mr. Bones, you see everything that your father wanted you to be, but have been unable to achieve. I think Mr. Bone’s is bringing out your natural state of being as a woman and you for the first time you are having normal feelings of a woman. The more you try to resist these facts the worst things will get for you.

SSC/IMMA: You’re SO right Dr. Bones. You’re amazing!!! What is your recommendation for what I should do?

(Bones gets a dirty smile on his face.)

Bones: Anything and everything he wants.

(Scene cuts.)