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Post by Furious Steele on May 27, 2014 16:38:48 GMT -4
(Scene opens at a press release outside of the local court house. A shady looking individual who looks like a cross between Cosmo from Senfield and your average local meth head. The individual is standing at the podium with a rather large petition in front of him.)
Reporter; So what exactly is this all about and who are you? I was told there was something important happening here.
Shady guy: There is something very important here, all of you listen up.
(man waits until the group of reporters are dead quiet before speaking.)
Shady Guy: My name is Luthor McBandles, and I am an attorney with the firm of Franson, Schmidt, Anderson, Johnson, Jones, Davidson, Mallery, Polinsky, Kotch, and Henderson. I am here to let the world know that on behalf of my client a petition has been brought to the court seeking monetary judgment against Immacolata for the disparaging footage she fraudulently showed on last week show. My client is seeking damages of 250 Million dollars.
Reporter: Tommy Bones always makes fun of people, how can he think he will win this lawsuit?
Luther: My client is not Tommy Bones, my client is Mr. Boo Boo Teddy Bear and this is a class action lawsuit for all Teddy Bears that were affected by the video.
Reporter: You have got to be fucking kidding me?
Luther: I certainly am not!!! My client's livelihood depends on his image of being safe to have with your kids. An innocents that allows my client to sleep with your children and a kindness that helps make everything better when you hug him. What Mrs. Immacolata did damaged his image in an unrepairable manner that prevents him from his professional career and damages. My client is not the only Teddy Bear affected by this either. Just think how many millions of Teddy Bears went unbought at the store because of this video. How many more went from a good life of sleeping on a nice bed to now being banished to a dark cold closet.
Reporter: I am speechless.
Luther: Do you realize the other toys now call my client, Boo Boo titty fuck now!! Now I have a prepared statement from my client to read so please be quiet.
Reporter: I am going to just to hear what comes out next.
Luther: I Mr. Boo Boo Teddy Bear, want to ensure my loyal fans that I was framed in this video and that I would not let some strange man ride me like a horse around his bedroom. I did not think that Immacolata was the kind of person who would try to ruin an innocent bears life to try to get ahead in the world but it appears I was wrong. Don't worry my friends and fans, the truth will come out. I will be shown innocent.
(Luther puts his hands over his head as the group of reporters stares in disbelief at what they are witnessing.)
Luther: I will not take questions at this time. I look forward to seeing all the media at the upcoming trial.
(Scene cuts with Luther strolling off and getting in a beat up 93 Nisson Sentra. )
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